Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I need blogging decor for dummies!

From time to time I glance around at a few folks blogs and when I get on their pages, all I can say is WOW! The decorations and widgets and gadets just are amazing and then I say to my self, damnit Im gonna figure how to make my page pretty, and BAM...nothin!

Now Im thinking to myself, I figured out how to navigate myspace with all the codes and other programs that use HTML for odds and ends but why for the life of me, has decorating my blog stumped me?

I pretty sure one night I spent a good 2 hours copy and pasting and editing and looking and felt like an incomplete moron...any blog friends want to help me out? Im thinking if I add some spice to my blog Ill be more apt to use it!

Monday, October 4, 2010

The gap between hugs is getting smaller

This weekend was my SD's 12th birthday, follow that up with a hectic schedule of football games, tae kwon do, dance practices and needless to say this momma is worn out!! But as I sit here and review the events of the weekend, I have noticed one thing that made my smile stick for a little longer when it came time to drop off the SKs at BMs house. "The gap" between my hug with my SD got smaller!

Obviously when you hug someone, depending on the person, there is a certain amount of room, or a gap, in between the hug. First you have the 'uncomfortable hug', which is what I started out with when my stepkids came into my life. It almost seemed like a forced hug cause dad was watching, and lets hurry and do this so we can leave. Then you have the 'Pat Hug'. That's the hug when the gap is still there but you have the pat on the back for added trying...Next came the 'one armed side hug'. I think this hug came into play when BM got wind that my relationship with DH was getting serious and Im sure the BM rumor mill went blazing!! But lately I have noticed my relationship with my SKs becoming more and more...parent/child like. I can see it in their eyes when I pick them up or when they walk into the house, I see it in their stories they tell me about school, when they tell me about their activities, but with my stepdaughter I can see it in her hug.

After she thanked DH and me for her birthday party and her gifts, when it came time for the goodbye hug, I noticed the gap was damn near gone. After years and years of trying so hard to let her know Im not the bad guy and I wanna be active in her life, it just finally happened. What a feeling! The only feeling I could almost compare it to is when I gave birth to my Biokids. THAT is how awesome that hug felt.

So here's to baby steps, patience, perseverance and last but not least LOVE.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Teething Tuesdays

Well my little Melon is currently cutting 2 teeth, AT THE SAME TIME! Now I must hem my blessings here, cause for a wee one to be cutting two teeth, she isnt the unbearable devil child I would expect her to be. Outside of the whining and clinging, she isnt all that bad. Even the drooling is at a minimum, THANK GOODNESS!

The funny part is when telling the sibs and daddy that she has 2 teeth coming in, the natural reaction seems to automatically place our fingers in her mouth to feel the baby teeth. Can you imagine what this little girl must be saying in her head, if she had words that could describe the events surrounding her? Something like WTH comes to mind, lol.

Today Big Red decided she wanted to make a brave attempt and feel her teeth while Melon was babbling. I would assume Melon had enough of the prodding and poking going on and she decided to bite down on Big Red's finger. The look of shock on Big Red's face that Melon bit her was comedy in its self. Big Red instantly pulled her finger out of Melon's mouth, grasped her finger like it was gushing blood, looked at her sister and said, "What are you doing biting Sissy?" and I sat there and laughed!

Maybe I should sew a sign on Melon's shirt, like they have at the zoos, that says "Warning I bite."

If Hannah Montana can have the best of both worlds, why can't I?

Quick!! What the first thing you think of when you hear the word Stepmom? Evil? Mean? Home wrecker? Younger woman? Replacement wife/mom?

Its not very often you see a Stepmom being held as a positive title or role model. Look at Hollywood, most of the movies depicted with a Stepmom, are made out to be these horrible creatures that have stolen the hearts of children's fathers and left biological mothers worlds turned upside down. We are nothing but home wreckers sent by the devil to reap the benefits sown by the first wife and bio-logical mother.

Well I for one have had it!! I have been a step mother to my SKs (step kids) for the last 4 years. I also have 2 children from my previous marriage, and my husband and I have a child we share together. You cant get any more blended than this.

Im am so tired of being sought out by the BM (biological moms) of the world to be this horrible person that is trying to replace her and is looking to steal dad away. Im tired of the problems of the first marriage being thrown onto my lap, like I had a say in why the marriage went south. In my particular instance, my DH (divorced husband) was divorced for almost 2 years by the time we started dating. My husband and I made it a point to sit the kids down and make it very clear that our relationship was going to be taken further and that we would be getting married and that no one was going to be replaced as a mother or father. We made sure each child knew they all had biological mother and fathers, but they would be getting something special that most other kids dont get....a bonus mom or dad, step parents.

Lord knows I have seen the affects divorce can have on a family. No one likes it, its nothing fun, but we all have to find a way to pick ourselves up and move forward, hopefully with positive strides. But why when 2 individuals decide to make their lives better and blend families, the stigma from that dreaded title is appointed and families go into freak mode.

I have never once portrayed myself as a negative or ugly person. I actually will go ahead and pat myself on the back for a moment and say that, for having a blended family, I have done well with building and maintaining well adjusted relationships with my SKs and bio-kids. But WHY WHY WHY when it comes to BM, Im nothing more than dirt on the bottom of her shoe? and WHY WHY WHY does BM know how to disrupt our blended family without ever having to say a word. Why?

I understand the role of a mother, I am one. Im also learning the role of a stepmother, Im one of those too. I almost feel like I should be wearing a scarlet letter the way I am portrayed throughout BM social and family circles. And the funny thing is, I have NEVER even been properly introduced to BM, if that's how you want to call it. In my 4 years of being with my husband I have yet to utter a word to her in person, I have never text her and I have sent 1 email to her regarding an incident that took place at my house that involved her mother and I felt she needed to understand my rules to my house. Yet this woman has the audacity to form her own opinion of me through grapevine gossip and whatever information she can pull out of the kids and twist for her benefit.

When did this type of behavior become acceptable? When did the saying of walking around in someones skin go out the window? How do these God fearing Christians act like this? And then it makes me start to question the things I have done to build my relationships with the SKs. Did I go too far? Did I give out too much advice? Was I too harsh on a consequence? Did I put down BM? Was my boundaries of a stepmom crossed? And 9 times out of ten I can honestly answer no to all of the questions.

But here I am, sitting with my scarlet SM (stepmom)on my chest, wishing the SM meant something so much more than the dreaded adjective I have been trying to hide from.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Twilight Zone

Wow, where have I been?

Well I got a wild hair up my butt and decided for my birthday that I wanted the Twilight book series, having recently hopped on the Twilight ban wagon and coming out in the open with my Team Edward mania, I thought this would be a good opportunity since I was anxious to see the Eclipse movie that comes out later this month.

Needless to say I was immediately sucked into these books. I read the first book with in 1 day, I couldnt put it down. I called my younger sister who read the series when they first were all the rage and she couldnt shut up about how the books get better and better. I almost felt like these books were, How did Edward put it, "You're like my own personal brand of heroin."

The 2nd and 3rd books I finished within the next 2 days and then I went into panic mode cause I didnt purchase the 4th book. The BEST book as I had been told by many. Well I luckily found someone who loaned me the book and finished that book in 1 day too. That was the kids were beggin to watch New Moon and I happily obliged. Now I sit here thinking I have nothing left with this series and why couldnt there be more...again there is the heroin talking!

I saw an episode of Oprah when they were talking about the trailer for Eclipse and had interviewed some moms regarding their passion for the series. The moms were commenting on how in some way it brought their youthful thoughts of love back to them. How they could have a reason to either root for true love found in the strangest of circumstance or how they could root for the underdog hoping one day it would all work out it the end.

Like I said before, I so Team Edward, pardon the teen speak :). My step daughter and I have finally found a common ground to have a nice conversation about the book. Kinda awesome to hear of a child's view on love, then again it scared the crap out of me, cause I was thinking what did she know about love, heck what did these youthful characters know about love. Then I sat and thought to my self, some of this story line seemed so familiar and then my husband walked into the room. Yes, of course! I saw a bit of Edward in my husband and Holy Jeebus the emotions I had running thru my veins, my soul, and my heart.

I found myself to think in the same way Bella thought about Edward, as I thought about my husband. I dont think I could ever imagine walking this earth without him. Im sure after a long mourning period I would find a way to pick up the pieces to move forward but I so understand their passion and desires.

I loved Edwards views on traditions and holding them strongly to himself and what he stood for. Who would ever thought that such a monster could find peace within himself to accept what he was but to make the best of what he had. And then poor Jacob, in the back of my mind I think I was secretly rooting for him but couldnt get past the whole true love between Edward and Bella, and kept telling myself there would be someone for him to imprint himself on. And then when I got to the part when he imprinted on Renesmee...I thought the circle of life was completed. Jacob had got the best of what he wanted, heck so did the rest of them. Man what a happy ending.

Well I guess I dont have an excuse now to put off the laundry and house cleaning..Im sure the people in family will be happy to have clean clothes back in their drawers and the bust bunnies will have to hit the road. Darn the luck!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The first time..

Today was the first day I met my husband four years ago. I have recently blogged about how we met. Today after the step kids went home, the hubby and I decided to go back to the place where we had our first date and have dinner with our newest daughter. We just sat there and reminisced on what was going thru our heads, our feelings that day and then telling each other how happy we were and thanked God that we found each other.

Does anyone else celebrate this day?

I have a little keepsake books filled with cards, or ticket stubs, pamphlets and brochures of places we visited in the past, things we can look at and remember some of the fun things we did while dating. I hope to one day pass the book on to our daughter so she can see how mommy and daddy fell in love and came to the decision of extending our family and having her. I pulled the book out this morning and began looking at the things we did and just a flutter of happiness came over me, I cant wait till Little Red (our youngest daughter) is old enough for me to sit down and tell her the story of us.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

My little mover

Our youngest daughter came into our lives about 6 months ago. Mind you my youngest child is 8 and my hubby's youngest is 9, talk about starting from scratch again! It's been a blast going thru the stages of baby again, and this time being able to stop and smell the roses with it has made such a difference.

Over the past few days I have noticed little Miss starting to prop herself on all fours and then look up at me with her long lashes like what am I supposed to do next..I just hop on down to the floor with her with all the excitement in my voice and encourage her along. Man I cant believe how much of this stuff I missed while being a working mom!!

At night I sit and think to myself, my little Miss is going to be up and moving and before I know it makes me sad to think that the little baby that would sit in my arms and snuggle is now going to be mobile and I have to let go of the baby in my baby, but then I look into the future and realize what fun I have in store for me with her learning how to crawl and walk!