If Hannah Montana can have the best of both worlds, why can't I?

Quick!! What the first thing you think of when you hear the word Stepmom? Evil? Mean? Home wrecker? Younger woman? Replacement wife/mom?

Its not very often you see a Stepmom being held as a positive title or role model. Look at Hollywood, most of the movies depicted with a Stepmom, are made out to be these horrible creatures that have stolen the hearts of children's fathers and left biological mothers worlds turned upside down. We are nothing but home wreckers sent by the devil to reap the benefits sown by the first wife and bio-logical mother.

Well I for one have had it!! I have been a step mother to my SKs (step kids) for the last 4 years. I also have 2 children from my previous marriage, and my husband and I have a child we share together. You cant get any more blended than this.

Im am so tired of being sought out by the BM (biological moms) of the world to be this horrible person that is trying to replace her and is looking to steal dad away. Im tired of the problems of the first marriage being thrown onto my lap, like I had a say in why the marriage went south. In my particular instance, my DH (divorced husband) was divorced for almost 2 years by the time we started dating. My husband and I made it a point to sit the kids down and make it very clear that our relationship was going to be taken further and that we would be getting married and that no one was going to be replaced as a mother or father. We made sure each child knew they all had biological mother and fathers, but they would be getting something special that most other kids dont get....a bonus mom or dad, step parents.

Lord knows I have seen the affects divorce can have on a family. No one likes it, its nothing fun, but we all have to find a way to pick ourselves up and move forward, hopefully with positive strides. But why when 2 individuals decide to make their lives better and blend families, the stigma from that dreaded title is appointed and families go into freak mode.

I have never once portrayed myself as a negative or ugly person. I actually will go ahead and pat myself on the back for a moment and say that, for having a blended family, I have done well with building and maintaining well adjusted relationships with my SKs and bio-kids. But WHY WHY WHY when it comes to BM, Im nothing more than dirt on the bottom of her shoe? and WHY WHY WHY does BM know how to disrupt our blended family without ever having to say a word. Why?

I understand the role of a mother, I am one. Im also learning the role of a stepmother, Im one of those too. I almost feel like I should be wearing a scarlet letter the way I am portrayed throughout BM social and family circles. And the funny thing is, I have NEVER even been properly introduced to BM, if that's how you want to call it. In my 4 years of being with my husband I have yet to utter a word to her in person, I have never text her and I have sent 1 email to her regarding an incident that took place at my house that involved her mother and I felt she needed to understand my rules to my house. Yet this woman has the audacity to form her own opinion of me through grapevine gossip and whatever information she can pull out of the kids and twist for her benefit.

When did this type of behavior become acceptable? When did the saying of walking around in someones skin go out the window? How do these God fearing Christians act like this? And then it makes me start to question the things I have done to build my relationships with the SKs. Did I go too far? Did I give out too much advice? Was I too harsh on a consequence? Did I put down BM? Was my boundaries of a stepmom crossed? And 9 times out of ten I can honestly answer no to all of the questions.

But here I am, sitting with my scarlet SM (stepmom)on my chest, wishing the SM meant something so much more than the dreaded adjective I have been trying to hide from.